weird

Being home is going well, minus the sleep and hungry cycles being all mixed up. Oh and did I mention I have panic attacks all the time when I wake up ? it is not cool. Since I have gotten home I have been busy re-arranging my life. I have been looking for apartments, figuring out school and getting my london schedule re-adjusted.  All this is rather stressful, but after last week I think I can take on a lot more now. - hopefully- One plus of being home is I have more food choices and all my personal freedoms back. I do miss Korea, at least the part that I was on. Wando is a beautiful island, however the circumstances in which I was there were not so magical. 

Good Bye Korea

hello Family, friends , ppl who may read this,

I am at the icheon airport, getting ready to go home at last.

Some may not understand my decision to go home but this is the best decision for me. 

I was very overwhelmed by the quarantine situation, and I am emotionally drained. 

I just couldnt handle being on at the mercy of the camp coordinators and the every changing schedules and not knowing my fate. I hope that the people who decided to stay in South Korea enjoy their time and teaching the kids. I just lost my joy that I had at the beginning, it was like a balloon that popped. I just don't really know quite how to explain it. I have never in my life given up so much of my personal control and to tell you the truth I will never give up that much of my personal freedom again. It was incredibly scary. I didn't enjoy being put up in a gross building either. I was a volunteer who had to go through medical checks, wearing health masks and then take meds, for something I didnt even have. It is so surreal looking at it now. I am so thankful to the people who were there me to talk to and support me. Please understand though I dont have any hard feelings toward Korea or Koreans. I dont blame them for any of this. Korea is a beautiful country and the people are very kind to everyone. They are probably the sweetest and most accomadating people ever.  For me to feel normal and happy and at peace with myself though I need to go home. Try to understand. Please. so farwell Korea keep people sweating and looking at your beautiful seaweed.

I get by with a little help from my friends

."Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.”

I am overwhelmed by the amount of caring and reaching out that has been responded to by both friends and family alike. Thank you for loving me and for being my support team. I don't know how I would emotionally be able to handle this with out wonderful super hero people in my life. I really like the quote that my aunt sent me this morning, I just feel like it rings true, for me right now. 

Keep still in the midst of chaos

If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by God. Living the "what if and if only" disease will cause us to dwell on what we don't have instead of on what we do have; we lose perspective and lose an opportunity to trust God with the situation is,no matter how difficult.

Well this is never the trip I imagined to South Korea ever. 

I thought that I would be teaching right now to little kids about fashion and what it is and sharing my love of it to them with my Korean Co-teacher. I was envisioning happy faces and skits. On my plane ride over I even watched a little kids show while I feel asleep going over the pacific ocean. 

Now though I live in almost a nightmare before christmas state. Its the feeling you get when you watch some fall down the stairs. At first it is kinda funny at first glance, like the idea of a group quarantine, we all thought it was a joke- literally-. Then you begin to watch the person fall, and watching that person fall gives you a punch in the stomach and it kinda hurts, like it hurt me to see my friend Christine get taken to the hospital. Then you see the person pick themselves up  alone and dealing with their pain. How many people would be that person who would help the person stand up and gather themselves? I dont know who would, who are the people that just stand there laughing and pointing? most people just pass them by with out a word too. I can only hope now after going through this horrible experience that we can all become the person that wants to help the person up, because we have all trying so hard to make the best of this situation. We have all been cooperative and helpful. I mean you try living with a group of people for about 12 days who have never really known each other, and coming together it is quite amazing. I have never felt so lucky to be with a group of individuals who are so helpful and considerate of each other. We could all make or break this situation, yet we choose to be the help and listen to each other. Our experience coming into this may not have been what I expected but it is truly extradinary how people can make a difference in each others lives. I'm also really thankful for my roomate who is so caring and listens to my dumb stories about my dad (who is by the way a big happy man. Not to mention she puts up with my obessesion with the air conditioner and all my other weird habits. She is probably my favorite 2nd grade teacher I have ever met. Shannon is awesome too, she may not be my roomate but I feel like I may have known her before. She is great and always listening and making sure I'm okay. I can only hope I am as caring and helpful as both of these wonderful ladies. Kristin is our portland state representative and has taken on the leadership role for our group with such a great attitude and is always there for us to talk to. I don't know how she can handle all this stress with such a bright smile on her face, I'm so so thankful for her presence here. For those of you I didnt mention I do apperciate you and all the things you do for me.

Secondly In these types of situations as well we find out the importance of family and friends . I am so incredibly grateful to my family as they have been my rock and the lord my hope. My friends who are always there for me and responding with much needed encouragement. I am grateful beyond words for all the support I have been given, the people in my life are truly a blessing to me. The values of community are shown too. I used to think being from a small town was not cool mind you, now though I am very very happy to be from a small town. Coos Bay is maybe the best place on earth to have roots, because a small town always remembers their people, and maybe it isnt so bad to walk into safeway and have the cashier ask me how my mom is.  

The prayer outreach that I have had as well, and the response to it has been very powerful in my every day life. Thank you so much to all of the people that are praying now and continue to pray as I and my group go through this. All your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

I have 3 more days until I to get tested along with everyone else. Please pray that we are all well and that the tamiflu will cure anyone that isnt feeling well now. 

until I write again thank you for your support and kind words - as they are very appreciated

my new name is soju

Today is Michelle's fantastical birthday. 

I ate another plate of AMERICAN BREAKFAST -yay

I then got to meet in the groups we will be in for camp and pick our booths( or class I will get to teach 12 times ! ). I am really excited, I have the opportunity  to teach clothing and fashion. Very similar but I'm excited because I really enjoy clothing and fashion so it should fun.  Also I think it will be fun to get to use my fashion design knowledge that I have too. 

 We met our trainers as well, who presented the same thing as the Korean teachers did which was kinda funny.

One is from Canada and is very funny. She has a dog and has a sarcastic sense of humor. The other trainer is a guy from Portland.  The Canadian lady was very pissed off about the facility because there is black mold ,the construction isn't finished and the building is sub-par and not really fit for the kids even. She also told us that this basically is the worst college site she had seen in South Korea. 

I need to vent now- as I am mad having found this out I find that this is really disturbing that they put us here when they have better and more healthy colleges on this island to put us. I mean I understand that they are nervous about the swine flu, but why would you subject people who are helping you to a nasty dirty environment?  Also if they don't want us to become sick, they should have put us in a clean and nice place.  Who knows for sure their reasoning. 

  Here is some small happiness and quirky moments as well to cheer you up though-

Today there was curry for  lunch and that was exciting - it made the cafeteria smell less like fish too. This was great. I actually ate enough food to feel full.  Also when we met this afternoon in our groups and talked with one another and brainstorm ideas about curriculum , during this the women who prepare our food came over to talk with us. They thought one of the girls at my table spoke Korean, but alas she is Chinese. This made for an interesting time. The women video taped us on their cell phones and took our pictures as well. They then attempted to figure out our names and ages. My name apparently is hard to say as they called me su-chen and soju. Soju is an alcoholic beverage in Korea just so you know, it was rather entertaining. So my new name is Soju kim or in Korean Kim Soju.  Tonight will hopefully be fun as we have tried to get cake and beer to celebrate Michelle's  birthday :)

Everything tastes better on toast

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Well South Korea felt like almost like Santa Monica pier today. The sun was shining in the window across the Wando hills and into the smelly fishy cafeteria.

I ate some American breakfast today and decided that all food tastes better with toast. After this I went to more orientation.

Since the principals couldn't make it to our camp we got to do a Korean drum class instead.This was much more preferable to me as I don't really enjoy orientation time because it is boring. 

We got to wave our arms around, do drum beats with out new wooden thing and learned a traditional  Korean song. One thing that was rather funny was that we did Korean seat stretches, which was really really quite funny.

After this we met with our groups, introduced ourselves and talked about our skit. This skit is done at the end of each camp as a surprise for the campers. After this was a hike up to a temple, a hike I did not finish because I became rather nervous because I have a problem with heights. I felt like if I kept going up towards that temple I may have hyper-ventilated and freaked out. There for I decided along with two other girls to go back to camp and just be mellow for a while before dinner. After dinner

I got to enjoy some karaoke done by us English teachers. 

Quarantine Day 2

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity" 

Today was the second day of the quarantine extravaganza.

I have done literally nothing all day. It rained a lot off and on.

I ate breakfast. Then I went to orientation, where we learned about Korean history, culture and got some tips on teaching Korean children. We learned  about some cultural differences as well. The man who was doing the orientation told us that Koreans are really good at surgery because they use chopsticks- random- 

Anyway, lunch was bimbap again. Michelle,Christine, Shannon and I  went up to roof top at lunch which was pretty interesting. Because it had rained the thick fog cleared and we had a good view of the city.( that we aren't allowed to go to) The roof kinda resembles a prison because it is all dirty wet cement and under construction.  

We also got our curriculum for our classes as well. It is actually really good, it is basically the lesson plans and the workbooks. The work books remind me of my German work books I did last semester. 

Then I took a nap because I was tired and felt kinda weird after being in a hot room all day.

pretty much that was all that went on.